I started this blog before Abigail & Elena turned 1, thinking I could write about our first year with twins. Well that year, and the next is almost over. That pretty much sums up what life with twins is like: extremely crazy. Here is the first year summary, with the rest of the details. Later (hopefully before another year) I’ll add what it’s been like during year 2.
People
ask all the time, "How is life with twins? It must be crazy!" Both
true statements. I also hear, “How do
you do it?” (as Adriana climbs all over the shopping cart). One answer is, “I
don’t really.” Or “I have no idea. It’s kind of a blur.” I also get a lot,
"Boy, you have your hands full!" Also a true statement. I’d be rich
if I had $1 every time someone said that. I’ll leave out some of the other
interesting comments… except one time Adriana introduced the twins by saying, “This
one’s a girl, and this one’s a boy.” I guess she got tired of people asking and
thought she’d give it a try.
I'd like
to write a little about daily life with 3 kids under 3. I took the title from a
book I love. Here’s a quote about making it past the first year. “Many parents
of twins spend at least the early portion of Year One sleepwalking through the
house with “I will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor playing in their heads-perhaps
more in an effort to convince themselves that they will than because they
believe it. But look at you now; you did it! You’ve survived the sleepless
nights, the inconsolable crying (yours and the babies’), the erratic schedules,
the ever-growing mountain of laundry, and the cereal dinners night after night.
You’ve washed more bottles and changed more diapers than you ever imagined you
would. You’ve proven yourself. You’re perfectly primed to enter Phase Two: The
Toddler Years.”
I'm sure
many of our happenings are the same or similar to other families with multiple
children of different ages. Now that it has been about a year, I feel like we are
on a pretty good routine! In the beginning it was nonstop with someone needing
something... food, new diaper, attention, sleep, or a toddler needing to give her
sisters a little space.
In many
ways Adriana was more work the first 6 months. She was so excited to play with,
read to, and help these new sisters of hers that I had to monitor things pretty
closely. I once found her “riding” Elena using a book as a saddle! She is a
very enthusiastic little girl, and every day is a party. Several times I had
put the babies down for a nap and later found Adriana in the crib with them.
She assured me every time that they were awake and she was helping them. Or,
when I come in to find her covered in Desitin in a matter of minutes. There
were also lots of potty accidents because I couldn’t get there in time to put
her on the toilet. (I can’t wait to teach
Elena & Abigail). Adriana learned that the best time to be mischievous was
when I was nursing or rocking them to sleep. One day she had entirely filled
the fish tank with napkins. The poor fish was crammed in the bottom corner. That
being said, she has always been a great help and there are so many times that she
has helped me when I really can't get what I need. My favorite is when the
twins were about 4 months old and I had finished nursing one, but was still
finishing the other. I needed a pacifier and couldn't get it so I asked Adriana
to get it from their crib. She leaves the room and the next thing I hear is,
"I got it mommy. Can you get me out of the crib now?" But this is not
about all the fun we’ve had with Adriana…On with the twins!
In some
ways, twins are easier than 2 different aged kids. They are on the same
schedule and ideally they sleep, eat, play, and poop at the same time. Of
course this doesn’t always happen and that’s when it can get crazy. I tried to
keep a pretty strict schedule this first year. Sometimes they got up at
different times from their naps which can throw things off, but the other
things were easier to regulate. If I changed one diaper, I usually changed the
other just in case I forgot who was changed. When one wakes up to eat at night,
you wake up the other and feed them both. No one sleeps past 8 am.
Looking
in the crib and seeing 2 babies shocked me for a few months. In the beginning
we tried a few different strategies to tell them apart. Permanent marker rubbed
off within a day or two so Abigail got painted toenails for about 4 months.
This helped everyone to know who was who. We also try to coordinate their
clothes. Elena always wears pink and Abigail is in purple or blue. In the
beginning we tried to keep the germ sharing to a minimum, but it was a lost
cause. If one got sick, the other would follow. We tried to separate pacifiers,
but again, a lost battle. Around 8 months they started trading on their own.
A few
more things that are double fun with twins.
- Going to the store. Shopping carts are usually equipped with a
seat for a young child, or you can just put the infant car seat in the cart and
call it good. Not with 2. We did lots of varieties of this. In the beginning,
Adriana was in the front of the cart, one baby in the back and I held the other
in a front pack. Or, we’d put both babies in the cart, one in front and the
other in back and Adriana would walk. Then when they were older we’d put both
in front of the cart, but you couldn't buckle them up. (This didn’t last very
long)
-
Getting from the house to the car and back. You work up some
awesome arm muscles holding a car seat in each arm. Otherwise you have to take
2 trips which isn’t much better. This was especially fun in our 6 feet of snow
during the winter!
Bath time. In the beginning I used the sink and had the other in
the swing. This was normal except when the other baby started crying and I
couldn’t do much to help except yell across the room that I was there and everything
would be fine. Then we started putting them in the tub. The other baby was in the
exersaucer and then we switched. Adriana loved this because she got double bath
time. Now that they can sit unsupported, we do 3 in the tub. Super exciting!
-
Feeding. Luckily both Abigail & Elena nursed fast, but we won’t
go into those details. Just one time after tandem nursing them. Abigail spit up
everything she ate and Elena had a blow-out which covered my leg and shirt. They
both had reflux pretty bad for about 9 months so we all smelled of spit-up. Feeding
solids works pretty much the same as with one baby. Feed A, while she is
swallowing, feed B. Sharing germs is inevitable.
-
What you do when both babies are crying? This is a fun one. Just
do your best. Sometimes you can hold them both, but this may make things worse
or break your arms. I am really glad they both like pacifiers. That helps a
lot. It’s usually best to get one calmed down and then work on the other.
-
Rocking them to sleep. This was tricky during the day when it was
just me. It took too much time and we did it for too many months.
Normal fun toys become dangerous when 2 are involved. We had 2
exersaucers that they each played in a lot. That was fine. The problem was the
jumperoo and the walker. When one girl was playing in it, the other would crawl
up to join the fun and either get run over or bounced off. Not good.
-
Labeling pictures. Looking back at family pictures usually you can
look at the date to know who the kids are. We need to label every picture so
later we don’t have to sit and wonder who it is. Half the time we forget to
even take pictures so I guess that cuts down on our work.
Playing at the park. Baby swings are perfect for twins!
Going to the doctor. Out of necessity I needed someone to accompany me to every visit. In the beginning, just holding both babies required extra hands. And every time they got a shot, I needed another comforter. The other problems is the baby getting shots second. She sees what her sister just went through and is already empathetically crying for her. It's getting easier, and I hope to take them on my own soon. (I have done this after they turned 1 and it works pretty well).
Three
things that help you make it through each day. Humor, (a must have for the
moments like baby A falls while changing B’s diaper. Get A to calm down and B pees
all over the floor and spits-up all at the same time). Sometimes all you can do
is laugh. Perspective, it’s all small stuff so don’t sweat it. Very Low
Expectations, this may sound bad, but it’s depressing to look at my daily to-do
list with nothing crossed of. Now we make a short, weekly list. It
is much more reasonable.
Having
twins is so much fun! Every day we get to laugh at something. If it’s not someone
taking the others’ pacifier, it’s Elena & Abigail laughing at something the
rest of us are totally missing. They are a delight and, except for those times
I think God made a mistake, we feel honored to have them. Cheers to twins!!!!
